Why Fighting Resistance Only Makes It Stronger
“The more we try to fight it, the stronger the resistance gets.”
How many times have you wanted to change something in your life, lose weight, finish a project, start that business, or finally write your book, only to find yourself stuck? You know what to do, you even want to do it, but somehow… you don’t.
Welcome to the world of internal resistance.
This is Positive Vibes, a space for clarity where we shift from stuck to empowered, one real conversation at a time. Today we’re diving into the work of Kam Knight, international speaker and author of 12 bestselling books on memory, focus, productivity, and mental performance. After traveling to over 100 countries and studying with shamans, healers, spiritual leaders, and top performers, he discovered a truth that explains why so many of us stall even when we’re motivated:
There’s a part of our mind designed to hold us back.
What Is Internal Resistance?
Kam explains it like this: one part of the brain generates endless wants and desires. It doesn’t care if you have the time, energy, or resources. Another part of the brain acts like a strict gatekeeper, deciding whether to let you act on those wants.
That’s resistance, the invisible wall that makes you procrastinate, sabotage yourself, or abandon projects right before the finish line.
It’s not laziness. It’s not lack of discipline. It’s resistance.
How Resistance Shows Up
Resistance rarely says, “I’m stopping you.” Instead, it disguises itself in sneaky ways:
- Procrastination: “I’ll start tomorrow” becomes next week, then next month.
- Criticism: Dismissing something as “not worth it” is often proof you actually want it.
- Distraction and forgetfulness: Suddenly “forgetting” your goal is resistance at work.
- Illness or accidents: Sometimes resistance escalates into physical setbacks right when you’re making progress.
Kam calls these the tricks of resistance, subtle and manipulative ways your brain protects you from risk, failure, or discomfort.
Why Fighting Resistance Doesn’t Work
Here’s the kicker. Resistance doesn’t back down when you push harder. The more effort you put into “beating” it, the more it pushes back with equal and opposite force, like Newton’s law of motion. That’s why willpower and motivation alone eventually fail.
Instead, the key is to understand resistance. Identify what’s triggering it and work with it, not against it.
The Checklist in Your Mind
Resistance filters every desire through a mental checklist:
- Beliefs: Do I believe I can do this?
- Habits: Do my daily patterns support this goal?
- Comfort zone: Is this too far beyond what feels safe?
- Self-image: Does this align with who I see myself as?
- Core pains: Will this force me to face unresolved hurts, like unmet childhood needs for love, approval, or security?
If any box doesn’t get checked, resistance blocks action. That’s why you can want something deeply and still stall out. It’s not the goal that’s the problem. It’s the checklist inside your head.
Steps to Loosen Resistance
- Notice the tricks. If you keep putting something off, criticizing it, or getting “too busy” for it, that’s resistance talking.
- Use self-talk. Repeat statements that rewire your beliefs and identity. Kam suggests:
- “I’m a do-it-now person. I easily do things now. I easily accomplish my goals right away.”
- “I’m deserving, have permission, and I’m having good things.”
- Expect roadblocks. Don’t be surprised when resistance shows up. It always will. Anticipate it, then move through it instead of beating yourself up.
- Protect your routine. A solid morning routine with affirmations, movement, and reflection can give you the energy and focus to stay consistent.
The Compassionate Shift
One of the most freeing insights Kam shares is this:
“It’s not that you’re lazy. It’s not that something is wrong with you. It’s just that resistance is part of being human.”
When you stop labeling yourself as broken and start recognizing resistance for what it is, a protective mechanism, you shift from self-criticism to self-understanding. That shift is the first step to progress.
A Different Kind of Personal Growth
Motivational seminars often pump us up with “You can do anything!” hype, then we crash when resistance kicks in. That cycle can be more discouraging than empowering. Kam’s approach flips the script. Don’t ignore resistance. Name it, understand it, and work with it.
Because the truth is, resistance never goes away. It will be with you until the day you die. Once you learn its tricks, you don’t have to be controlled by it.
Final Word
If you’ve been stuck, overwhelmed, or frustrated with yourself, take a breath. What if resistance isn’t a stop sign, but an invitation? An invitation to look deeper, to reframe how you see yourself, and to move forward with more compassion and clarity.
The next time you hear that voice saying “not today” or “you’re not ready,” recognize it. That’s resistance. And now you know its game.