From Unwanted Child to Unstoppable Force: Martha Burich on Love, Limits, and Second Chances
Some people are born into comfort.
Martha Burich was not one of them.
She came into the world unwanted, not unloved, but unexpected, into a family already stretched too thin. By 15, she still clung to her mother in crowded stores, the deep insecurity of her childhood shaping how she moved through the world. She got kicked out of not one, but two colleges. She lost her husband of 25 years and her mother within six months. And seven years ago, she put down the bottle for good.
Today? She’s a former child psychology professor, longtime special ed teacher, recovery advocate, and the 5-star-rated author of You Can Raise Happy, Responsible Children. She spends her weeks volunteering at jails and treatment centers, helping others rebuild from rock bottom.
Her life is proof: you can start over again and again if you refuse to quit.
The Truth About Misbehavior
“It’s different for every person,” Martha says, “but here’s the bottom line: whatever you give attention to, increases.”
Whether it’s a kid throwing a tantrum or an adult sulking in the corner, if bad behavior gets the reward of attention, compliance, or control, it will keep showing up.
Her parenting mantra? The Three L’s:
- Love them enough to say no. Boundaries aren’t cruelty; they’re the foundation of self-discipline.
- Let them fail. Failure teaches grit, risk-taking, and resilience in a way comfort never can.
- Lead by example. Kids copy what you do, not what you say.
On Grief, Grit, and Getting Back Up
Martha’s life taught her early that grief is the price we pay for love and sadness is the price we pay for happiness. Instead of wishing for fewer problems, she says, wish for more skills to handle them.
And she’s clear about what turned her own story around: accepting life on life’s terms.
“Birth and death—that’s the cycle. If it lives, it will die. If we don’t accept that, we stay stuck.”
The Sobriety Shift
For years, Martha was a weekend drinker. After retirement, weekends blurred into weekdays, and morning drinks didn’t feel off-limits. Then one night, listening to a podcast, she heard the challenge: I dare you to ask God to make you quit.
Instead, she asked for help.
The next morning, she walked into an AA meeting and never looked back.
Lessons from Jail
In her weekly volunteer work, she sees a common thread: people stuck in victim mode.
“It’s always ‘if this hadn’t happened’ or ‘if they hadn’t done that to me.’ But the truth is if it is to be, it’s up to me.”
And she’s seen jaw-dropping turnarounds, like the woman who kicked meth after jail, stayed sober through the loss of both parents, and is now raising a thriving toddler.
Kindness Can Save a Life
In her most fragile years, something as simple as a stranger smiling at her in the grocery store could make her day. “You don’t know the ripple effect you have on someone,” she says. “Sometimes, being seen is everything.”
Her Daily Advice
- Yesterday’s gone.
- Tomorrow’s not here.
- Win today.
And remember—someone out there has done worse than you and still built a beautiful life.
Final Word from Martha:
“It’s never too late. I’ve met people in their 80s publishing books, finding love, and starting over. If you want it, don’t quit.”
Where to Find Her:
📚 You Can Raise Happy, Responsible Children – Available on Amazon
🌐 MarthaBurich.com
👥 Facebook groups: Mastering Child Behavior & Get Sober Stay Sober
Martha Burich’s life is proof that no matter how many times you’ve been knocked down, you can rise again—and help others do the same. From childhood rejection to addiction recovery to inspiring change in jails and treatment centers, her story is raw, real, and full of hope.
💡 If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s too late to start over, this conversation is your reminder that it’s never too late—and you’re stronger than you think.