From 12 Beers a Day to Brave and Free: Jacki’s Playbook for Alcohol Freedom
Let’s be real. Numbing is easy. Healing is hard. But if you’re quietly asking yourself, “Is this as good as it gets,” you’re already stronger than you think. This is Positive Vibes. I’m Nicki Dennis, and this space is for the stories that meet you in your shadows and walk you gently back toward the light.
Today’s guest, Jacki Fleniken, is proof that freedom is possible before you hit rock bottom. She went from bartending and averaging 12 beers a day to becoming an Alcohol Freedom Coach who guides others out of shame, anxiety, and autopilot drinking into clarity, joy, and peace. She used a science based framework and liminal psychology to retrain her brain. Now she pays it forward in her private community, Sober Guides to Freedom.
No preaching. No labels. No judgment. Just a better way.
The Moment Everything Shifted
Jacki’s life had become a loop. Swear off drinking in the morning. Crack a beer at five. Repeat. Then came two funerals tied to alcohol. Two men gone within months. One passed alone at home with empty bottles beside him. That second loss hit like a freight train.
At the same time, Jacki started noticing scary signals in her own body. Heart rate jumps. Anxiety spikes. Hangovers stacked on hangovers. She asked a brutal question: Will I be alive to meet my future grandkids. She already had the name picked out. Fifi. And she wanted those little ones to know her, not the version of her that alcohol controlled.
Line in the sand: “I am going to be here. I am going to be a good Fifi. I am not letting alcohol write my story.”
What Liminal Psychology Actually Is
Skip the jargon. Here’s the simple version.
- You run most of your life on subconscious autopilot.
- A thought rises from the subconscious into conscious awareness.
- The gap between those two is the liminal space.
- In that gap, you can recode beliefs, habits, and triggers.
Jacki did not try to bully her brain with “never again.” She used laddered beliefs that her subconscious could accept.
- Not “I will never drink again.”
- First rung: “I am cutting down.”
- Next rung: “I am taking a break.”
- Next rung: “I choose what I drink.”
- Final rung: “Alcohol is not the answer for me.”
Small believable steps beat big impossible vows.
Day One Looked Like This
Jacki kept the ritual and changed the contents. Same koozie. Same time. Heineken 0.0 instead of beer. Her brain recognized the routine without the drug. Meanwhile she loaded her environment with support.
- Kitchen as a sanctuary: the place she once numbed became the room she healed.
- Emergency plan: if withdrawal signs showed up, she would call for help fast.
- Inputs cleaned up: music, mantras, and messages that rebuilt identity.
- Movement and food: get the body online so the mind could follow.
She gave her body time. Your liver, brain, and nervous system can take up to two years to stabilize. Progress counts even when it is not obvious yet.
The Playlist That Made Her Cry
There was a morning when Whitney Houston’s Greatest Love of All came on. Jacki stood in her kitchen and ugly cried. Not from grief. From recognition.
I love me again. I am glad to have Jacki back.
That is the gift on the other side of numbing. Not perfection. Presence.
How She Beat the Cravings
Cravings are learned loops. Break the loop, and the pathways wither.
- Replace, do not white knuckle: NA beer, mocktails, mineral water with bite.
- Script the second thought: “I want a fireball” becomes “No I don’t.” The first thought is reflex. The second thought is power.
- Move your body: short bursts of movement reset the urge cycle.
- Feed the brain: protein, fiber, hydration, sleep. You cannot outthink a starved nervous system.
- Rituals over rules: morning mantra cards, blue ink on blue index cards. Her favorite line sat on the old beer fridge and bathroom mirror:
Life is not meant to be lived blurry, hazy, or numb. Alcohol is not the answer.
About That Word You Hate Saying Out Loud
Jacki rejects the label that makes the person the problem and the substance invisible. Alcohol is engineered to be reinforcing. Billions are spent to normalize it. If you are questioning your drinking, you are not broken. You are awake.
Shame keeps you silent. Silence keeps you stuck. Community pulls you forward.
Sober Guides to Freedom
Jacki and two other guides host a vetted, private Facebook community where you can ask questions without being dogpiled or judged. They offer free coaching calls because they remember the porch nights with tears and no answers.
- Find the group: Sober Guides to Freedom on Facebook
- Work with Jacki: ImCoachingbyJacki.com
- Instagram: @JackiFleniken
What Freedom Feels Like Now
- Presence: fully in conversations, dates, dinners, mornings.
- Choice: order NA beer, a mocktail, or water and feel proud, not deprived.
- Health: better skin, brighter eyes, balanced heart rate, calm mind.
- Love: a relationship built on real talk, humor, and depth.
- Agency: the neural pathway for drinking urges is gone. She jackhammered it with repetition, rituals, and replacement.
The Five Step Micro Plan To Start Today
- Tell the truth on paper. Write what alcohol actually gives you and what it takes. No poetry. Just facts.
- Swap, do not stop. Pick your go to NA replacement and stock it. Change the content, keep the ritual.
- Build a two line mantra. Example: “Every day I am getting stronger and stronger. I choose what goes in my body.” Read it morning and night.
- Disarm the hour. Identify the daily danger zone. Plan a walk, shower, call, or recipe that fills that exact slot.
- Borrow belief. Join a community. Book a call. Your nervous system calms faster when you are not isolated.
For The Person Whispering “Is This It”
You do not have to wait for a DUI, a lost job, or a hospital wristband. You are allowed to choose more today. The first step is not dramatic. It is honest.
You are not powerless. You are patternful. Patterns can be rewritten.
Jacki’s Anchors
- Mantra: Every day I am getting stronger and stronger.
- Rule: It is not the first thought that matters. It is the second.
- Filter: If it makes life blurry, it does not belong in my body.
- Question: What is the gift in this setback.
- Identity: I am most qualified to help the person I used to be.
Final Word
Freedom is not about being perfect. It is about being ready. Ready to question the story. Ready to try a different rhythm at five o’clock. Ready to love yourself enough to make one better choice and then another.
This is Positive Vibes. If something feels out of alignment and you are tired of waking up numb, consider this your sign. You do not have to carry it alone.
Resources and Contact
- Community: Sober Guides to Freedom on Facebook
- Coaching and stories: ImCoachingbyJacki.com
- Instagram: @JackiFleniken
Small note from me. If you drink heavily daily, talk to a clinician about tapering or supervised detox. Safety first.
Peace is the new success. Presence is the new high.